Archive for November, 2010

Scary-ok?

November 19, 2010

So…this will most likely be a not so concise post. I still haven’t completely gathered my thoughts on this subject, as I HATE admitting that I’m afraid and that I may not be in control…i guess I just don’t like facing my own mortality…
See I have a “bone tumor” growing in my left shoulder…actually it’s been there for almost as long as I can remember. It has pushed my scapula out and about into giant proportions. Let me say that I haven’t been pain free also for as long as I can remember. It has recently been brought to my attention that it is approximately an inch ama a half in diameter by two(ish) inches long and it requires immediate surgery. Also, the cancer word haas been thrown my direction and THAT is one is the scariest words I have ever heard…I’m like “damn I’m not even thirty how the fuck can this be a possibility?!?!”
Needless to say I have a million ton load weighing my mind down. I won’t know anything about the cancer results until after surgery and I can’t have surgery until I save up enough cash to pay for it. Thankfully I have the support of countless friends and family members who, in they’re selflessness, are in the planning stages for a benefit to raise the funds. And most of all my wife has been by my side:) she’s been great in her unyielding support!!!
I wish I could think of anything but this…but I can’t. I’m a pessimist at heart and all I can think of is hearing a positive result…then I spiral down into thinking of what the hell will my wife and kids do should something happen to me? The thought of my girls being without their daddy and the love of my life losing a husband tears me apart!!! I’m very thankful for everyone in my life for everything they are doing to help my family and me.
And thanks for putting up with my rambling;)

Growing Pangs

November 4, 2010

So my oldest baby girl is turning FOUR YEARS OLD in less than 24 hours, and honestly I don’t really know how to handle it.
I’m glad that she’s growing up to be a very sweet little lady, but I don’t want these precious days to pass by this quickly…
She’s a wonderful daughter and I’m very proud of her and everything she’s accomplished so far. She’s smart as a whip, the best dancer in her class, she picks up more than most in her music class, and she’s by far the best big sister to my youngest, who by the way, is just as wonderful:)
My youngest will be ONE YEAR OLD in right around a month…i hope she doesn’t reach four as fast as my oldest;)
She’s so proud of her growing sign language skills that my oldest is so proud of helping teach her:) She’s the biggest explorer I know, always being amazed by new experiences!!!
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is we must cherish these years. I call them the “superhero years” because in their eyes we as parents can do anything:) Kill a bug? Sure!!! Play silly games? Why not!!! It seems in their eyes we can practically do no wrong…unless we ask them to clean up their room;)
These years are too fleeting, and I wish my girls could stay young forever in their innocence. I know they have to grow and learn and experience things both good and bad, but I hope they both know I will always be the superhero ready to save the day at the drop of a hat…or a text when they’re old enough…or even, hopefully on a regular basis, a phone call:)